Intimidation

What is it about ex-girlfriends or super-close female friends that just totally gets my goat? And yes, I love that phrase. Right now in my life, there are two such women.

The first is Lawyer's ex. In fact, not sure I have mentioned it, but she is his ex-fiancee. They were together for about a million years, all the way from early high school to post-master's degree. I feel pretty comfortable with the situation, knowing that she and I could not be more different than vinegar and sugar. I am totally the sugar, by the way.

She likes country music and George W. Bush. She is really short and brunette. She is a housewife type who is now engaged to some really old guy she started dating the week they broke up. She was OCD and controlling, and basically a stick in the mud. I am sure she has her positive qualities, otherwise they would not have been together. But whatever they are, she is a fucking idiot for letting him go. Lawyer claims, and I believe him, that they stayed together out of habit and safety, despite the fact that they were an awful match.

So, even though I am not really worried about her in any real sense, I still feel my eyes narrowing into a glare when I think about her. I dislike her for the way she treated him. I dislike her for the fact that she got him for all those years and all those memories. I dislike her because everyone in his life who meets me will compare me to her, even if they hated her.

The other girl is Lawyer's "work wife". I really really don't like this chick. While discussing me, she actually said to him "careful...it sounds like you are really falling for her, and that's going to cause problems". Let me tell you, I saw this girl for the first time this past weekend, and I could totally take her. With my hands behind my back. She is teeny tiny and has a Dorothy Hamill-esque haircut. Remember those? Yeah. They were still popular when I wore my stirrup pants under a huge sweatshirt with puff paint on it. And my boyfriend had a rat tail. We were totally the 2nd grade power couple.

When I saw this girl, let's call her Dorothy, for the first time at a bar, she was fakey nice to me and all over Lawyer. I was pretty drunk, and I know I could have reacted better, but I was pretty bratty. The good that came of it was a discussion with Lawyer where I admitted my feelings. I was hiding them, because I know this is a weakness for me. My only 2 real relationships had women like this cause serious, cheating-type, problems. Now he knows this, and hopefully the whole thing is a non-issue.

Why are women like this? I would trust Lawyer to the ends of the earth, but I wouldn't trust Dorothy farther than I could throw her. Not that I have contemplated throwing her...but you know what I mean.